Welp. I’m awake. A timeline:

11:15 Drift off while listening to whatever obnoxious thing Ryan happens to have on the television. 

2:15 Stir and realize I have to pee and shouldn’t drift off again lest I wake in significantly more discomfort an hour later.

2:18 Groan, grunt and begin untangling my limbs from body pillow 

2:24 Untanglement complete

2:25 Blindly find the floor with feet and  stumble to the toilet bumping into every corner and every piece of furniture from bed to bathroom.

2:27 Pee a totally not worth it amount. 

2:28 Chug as much water as possible while standing at the sink. Feel defeated because night thirst is essentially unquenchable. Sigh knowing the inevitable consequence of this action. 

2:29-2:40 Bump into every corner from bath to bed and retangle. Breathe heavily to recover from the epic struggle just endured. 

2:57 Realize you’re still not asleep and grab phone. Check the following: Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Timehop as if a lot has happened since 11:45. It hasn’t. 

3:10 I must have candy crush lives. 

3:25 Hate myself a little for crushing candy in the middle of the night because that is awful and will just keep me awake and ruin my eyes and I should be ‘banking sleep.’ Re-arrange pillow and attempt sleep. 

3:40 Mmmm nope. Turn on Netflix. Watch an episode of HIMYM (oddly the one where Lily has her baby, briefly consider sending Ryan out of town because that’s apparently what triggers labor)

4:05 Night thirst be damned. Repeat 2:18-2:40. Want to cry a little. 

4:27 Well this has been a typical night in the life of pregnant Jill. Maybe I’ll blog about it since this period of my life is (let’s all pray) almost complete. 

4:45 Post blog.