Fruit/Veg/Edibles: Summer Cantaloupe (WE’VE REACHED MELON STATUS! OMG!) and Romaine Lettuce… but MELON!!! This is a major milestone for me. The reason remains unclear, but I’m pregnant which gives me the right and privilege to get excited about whatever I so choose… so MELON-SIZED baby!!! Excitement abounds!!!
Bi-Weekly weight gain: 3.8 poundaroonies
Overall weight gain: 18.8 poundaroonies
Aversions: Raw meat. This is not a pregnancy-induced aversion and has nothing to do with Baby Hess. But summer brings out the uncooked burgers and uncooked chicken and while I love me a good marinade… the marinating process is majorly gross and please don’t make me touch or be in the presence of the raw chicken, please. Reasons why Ryan is my hero and the kitchen belongs to him.
Other aversions: Hand swelling and not wearing my rings. I feel completely naked without them, but the time has come. My fingers are too puffy and my joints too achy and immovable due to puff and fluff and all the glorious chub chubbiness of my past. It’s come rushing back to haunt me. Please reference the chub chubbiness below. 
THAT is what my hands feel like.
I can be found eating: Grilled cheese with tomato soup. Grilled cheese and tomato. Grilled cheese and tuna. Trending now: Grilled cheese.
And non-alcoholic brews because its summer, guys, and everyone deserves a deck beer even if its fake.
Movement/bumps/thumps/lumps/shmumps: Baby is move-y, bumpy, thumpy, lumpy and definitely shmumpy. I love feeling my cute little shmumper shmumping around in there. I’m realizing, though, that the moving doesn’t ever keep me awake. Small prego victory! I’m not completely shocked by this because I would win all the golds if ever invited to participate in a sleeping competition, if ever one existed. But all the mommy blogs and parenting websites and crazy mom research that i’ve been sucked into mention the movements waking them up and/or making it difficult to doze off. Not the case at the Hess Station — where sleepers sleep. Hear this little one, sleepers sleep here. Just a little advance notice of how your family functions at baseline, so if you want to fit in… well… continue this trend of not keeping us awake. You’re doing great, so far…
Look how good your sister is at sleeping anywhere that her head can be propped. 
Maternity style: I have outgrown some maternity stuff, specifically bought in maternity sections to adorn a growing bump. So that’ll make you feel huge. A few things I found on sale and hadn’t even worn yet, but won’t return because they were a) probably final sale I only purchase mega-deals and b) I’m sure they’ll be loved and used somewhere down the road and mainly c) I’m the WORST at returning things.
But it’s such a bonus that you’re essentially forced into buying a new wardrobe when pregnant because it’s an opportunity to feel put together and new and pretty when you wouldn’t necessarily feel that way otherwise. Required prego pampering — I see only the good in this.
How do I feel?: Still feeling well. More tired. Overall, status quo – physically.
How do I feel mentally/emotionally? Still feeling well. More tired. AND STARTING TO FREAK OUT. There are only 9 weeks left before baby, potentially less. That’s single digits for those of you who are not fazed by this. Be fazed! I’m not freaking out in all bad ways, but it’s gotta hit you at some point that this is reality and it’s not some far off life event that you’ve been dreaming about for months and is still many moons away. The only thing we are many moons away from is being ready. Maybe I’m being (understandably) dramatic… but it would likely be in our best interest to put in some baby-prep time.
Obviously I’m excited beyond all belief and will be so thrilled whenever this little guy/girl decides to arrive (healthily and happily), but pretty please just let us have our own poop somewhat together before we’ve got yours filling little bitty diapers for us. Okay? Thanks little buddy.
S/he kicked. It is confirmed. The melon will just stay in there until we give the go ahead. Definitely confirmed and I’m totally in control now.
Status of the bump: As another kind little reminder that labor and delivery are closer than not — madam midwife informed me that the baby is still breach. Which is completely fine and won’t be a concern until 35 weeks supposedly, but I mean we’re close enough to be using the term breach in conversation. And my friends, that’s close enough to commence the freakout noted above.
And for anyone who cares to know… I still have an innie, but it’s a different innie than it used to be and is half poking out just a little and I feel like it’s only a matter of time…
I should just stop writing there, right. Cuz that’s all you were really here to find out. Innie or outie.
Oh yeah, bump pics.
Nope, didn’t have to pee. Actually, probably did, but defining the bump with a strategic shirt hold ended up looking like a strategic pee hold. #bumppicfail
On that note. There’s a lot of happies and not many sads and its Memorial Day weekend and I’ve got some cookouts to attend!
Enjoy your O’douls everyone! I sure will!
